If you would have asked me 8 years ago, if I LOVED pain pills, I would have said "Yeah of course!" Not knowing that my life was starting it's course on a downhill battle. The perkacets was enough for about a year, until I was introduced to heroin right after my son Bentley was born. I lived for it, I dreamed about it, I was in love with heroin, it was my life! Eventually my dad stopped letting me come around, I didn't care, I had my baby mom and a son, and eventually went on to have 2 more children by her. I'm sure that's why she held in for so long. Held on to hope, to the chance that just maybe one day I will realize what this drug is doing to me. After 6 years she finally gave up, as did my father, my aunts, and cousins, and anyone who at one point were the only things that were important to me. At least I had heroin! I might have lost weight and my family and my job and EVERYTHING that makes life meaningful, but at least I felt "good" for a couple hours at a time. On 6/14/2012, I was the victim of a robbery. I was shot 6 times, and I barely survived. I was shot in my back, my stomache, my ankle, my toe, and both of my thighs. I had to wear a colostamy bag for over a year, I'll tell ya, pooping in a bag is VERY uncomfortable to say the least. I continued to use, I continued to, rob, lie, steal, borrow, and beg, anything I had to do to get my next fix. I was under a spell! I lost everything! But it still just wasn't enough!. I hadn't hit my rock bottom.
Today though, I am happy to say, that I have been clean and sober for 145 days. In this short little 5 months since I quit using on 6/25/15, my life has changed dramatically for the better. I have a awesome job making good money, I have my family back. Everyone has faith in me, it is a true blessing. This is the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. When I stopped using, it triggered a long set of events that would eventually help me for the better. My whole mindset is changed, I feel like my brain is starving for knowledge. I am a completely different person. At one point in my life, I would have said, I will ALWAYS love to get high, and today I feel the sample way, but I don't mean high on heroin, or any other kind of drug. I am high on life! It is possible! At one point I was the biggest piece of crap on the planet!
Now, I have people asking for my advice! It is truly amazing. We are what we choice to be. The mind is a powerful thing. Do you want a happy successful life? You have to ask yourself, how bad do you want it. The good lord is watching over you. And people will be shocked when they see the REAL you! Show everyone what you are made of. None of us are special, because we are all special! Prayers for the still suffering addict.
There is hope, and I pray that you find it and hold on to it with every ounce of strength you have. Thank you for reading. Love!
South Hamiton, Ohio